It's not so you can eat ice cream in your wedding dress...but that's a perk!
Life is such a roller coaster, sometimes it's easy to lose sight of why we do the things we do. Why we have weddings, why we marry at all. I've had this conversation with a lot with friends lately. We are skeptics...more than half of marriages end in divorce, the average wedding is over $26K. What's the point anymore?
When I was engaged, my Husband and I had this conversation a lot. What made us think that we could beat the divorce odds? We could be happy just living together, our commitment was enough. Then if things didn't work out, we could cut our losses and move on. That sounds awful doesn't it? We're realistic.
But there was this want to take things a step further, declaring our love in front of family and friends that made things feel like the beginning of us against the world. It does feel like that some days. When it seems like there is no one else in the world on your side, there's your Husband or Wife. A witness to your life. We didn't know if that feeling would last forever, but we decided if it made us happy right now it was worth it. I'll let you know how that works out for us ;)
Kate of Koru Wedding Style posted a link to a great series over at Happy Sighs called Why We Wed. Every one's reasons are different, it's interesting to hear why and also a great reminder on those days when you ask yourself...what's the point?
Why did you/will you marry? or is it not for you?
10 comments:
We got married because we somehow wanted to make a significant step from the life as girlfriend/boyfriend to family.
We knew at the time that we wanted to have kids and therefore also had the intentions to stay with eachother - so it felt like a great opportunity to become more of a "unit" and also show that this was OUR family in the making, our other families were now secondary (still important though, I think you understand how I mean).
We have now been married soon 10.5 years (together for almost 13 years) so it´s still working - but we´ve had our ups and downs as anyone else.
Love the idea of that series...going to check it out. Hearing other people's experiences and thoughts is just so neat. Been married for 3 years.
I don't know why I married... Can't remember any more... it's been 23 years... I was born already married ahahahahah.
It was a natural progression for us (josé&me), we fell in love, we dated and started making the plans for the first day of our life together.
We didn't stress about what it would cost, just going with our possibilities and we never thought in failure (silly enough we still think the same way when we need to buy a new tv set or computer - we don't give up buying thinking there will come better and more advanced models and that they will be obsolete or ruined in 2, 3 or 10 years). To start a wedding thinking that it could end in divorce is the same as start living with focus in the end and not in the path - great, loving, lasting - that would take us there.
In Portugal there's a saying: "Who thinks, doesn't marry" so it's good to stop thinking and following your heart... you do it all the time, have you noticed?
Ha, I was reading this post thinking it reminded me so much of the Why We Wed series! Then I saw the link :-) I'm so glad you're loving the series & I hope everyone else does too. With the crazy divorce rates, marriage is such a leap of faith & I couldn't be happier that my hubs & I took that leap!
How beautiful! I think you said it perfectly, that marrying in front of your friends and family is a real sign of your commitment to one another, and it holds each of us accountable to the person we've sworn to love, support and protect. Oh, and then there's the dress...
Originally we married to make our families "happy" (rather than live in sin) but we always knew it was something we would eventually do regardless. Love this post, and that picture is adorable!
PS You should totally move to Houston! You would love it (aside from the traffic... sigh)
we got married because we want to share our lives together. in front of our friends and families? yes, these people are witnesses to remind us about the commitment we have as husband and wife. nice post my dear!
Babi
www.whenbabispeaks.com
I love being married to my best friend and always knowing he is there for me. I'm totally checking out the series - what a lovely idea!
i'm with you on the skeptic, dark side, more so on some days, haha! i was so young too, i had no idea what i was doing...but it's been working so far! and i truly think he is the oNLY person who has never let me down.
I'm not married yet. Each time I need an advise about relationship, I don't go to friends. But I go to older couple who has been married for decades. Like my parents. Or lady Jane at a place I used to work. They seem to always know the answer how to handle a situation in a relationship. Because they are committed. That no matter what they will always stay with each other. They had gone so far to give up. I now can't wait until my wedding day when I will give my husband all that I have and fight any obstacles in life. Keep the love and passion going. I wish you all the best Nikki. You can do it.xxooo
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